Choir is over. Due to vacations and people moving in and out there is no program during the summer. I am so sad. So many blessings have come from singing with wonderful people. Our pianist is moving away, as are half of the other members.
As we sang our last song today, I couldn't help but feel as though the world itself, or perhaps my own little world, is going to change so much. As I get older, I start to look back at my life more than forward, and I find myself doing that again. I don't know if the choir in the fall will be nearly as good as this one was, I don't know if I will ever again feel the way I've felt singing in this choir.
It seems that things are never as good as they once were. I may look back on this and agree, but perhaps I can pull myself out of this little divot I'm in and realize that perhaps this one loss will open doors for other gains. Things change, people grow, and memories become priceless.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Would you?
If I could go back and change a moment, I think I would change that one. But I wonder, what other moments would change as a result? If I changed that moment, could I keep this one? No, better to be safe than to lose this one so dear. Send regret to the wind, and live.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Buggers!
Totally random musings here. I was just at a museum that had a room decorated almost entirely with bugs. Most from foreign countries. I found it quite entrancing, and while I was looking at the pictures that I took while I was there, I realized that Heavenly Father is quite the genious. I mean, when an animal dies somewhere, you can smell it, in fact, you can't miss it. The nasty smell of a dead animal is unmistakable, even if it is a tiny animal. However, when an insect dies, you don't even notice. Pretty nice considering the fact that flies and ants and even dragon flies have been known to randomly die in impossible to reach places in our different homes. I don't even want to think about what else may have died there...even though I am. Please excuse me while I shudder violently.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
People I Love...
Ah, yes, the joys of church choir and the contribution it is to my musings...
This past Sunday, as I sat in practice I felt an overwhelming love for someone very near and dear to me. Now, I often get these feelings, and they are for many different wonderful people in my life, but this particular day it just so happened to be my own dear father. A man was singing in the choir behind me, and his voice and the way he was singing just reminded me of my father when he used to sing in choir. He still does, I think, but I'm not home to witness it so I miss out.
What struck me the most is the remembrance of his smile and the easy-going attitude he has always seemed to have. Of course, there are things that can rile him up, and he does get upset once in awhile, but those times are few and far between. He has plenty of reason now to decide to complain and make excuses to lay about and do what he wants, but somehow his best reason for doing that has become his reason for getting up and working hard every day. I wonder how I can express how much this means to me and how amazing I think this wonderful man is...
My dad has a neurological disease. It makes tedious jobs impossible and easy jobs tedious. It makes simple things like walking in a straight line and remembering to give phone messages very difficult for him. And yet, I cannot recall ever hearing one word of complaint leave his lips. If he does make a comment on it, it is a matter of fact this-is-how-it-is comment with no feeling or complaint attached. He works hard every day and manages to exercise and work outside and help my mother with the chores inside as well.
I, however, LOVE to complain, or so it would seem. I just can't seem to help it. I get a few ant bites and up go the pictures and wo is me for my poor swollen feet. I feel a little bit tired and I am laid out whenever I get the chance. My long-suffering husband knows about every ache and pain and, ahem, weird bathroom moment that I have. I justify it by saying should I ever pass out and have to be rushed to the hospital then he could tell the doctors every symptom or weird thing that has happened to me that week.
Perhaps now it is easy to see why I feel such love and devotion to my father. I can't seem to stop complaining, and yet here he is with the best reason ever to complain and he doesn't even think about doing it. It's just another wonderful characteristic about this man that makes me love him all the more.
And so, as I sat in choir waiting for the men to finish going over their parts, I allowed this overwhelming feeling of love and amazement wash through me as an undeniable ache to see this man entered into my heart. Thank goodness he is coming to visit next week. :)
This past Sunday, as I sat in practice I felt an overwhelming love for someone very near and dear to me. Now, I often get these feelings, and they are for many different wonderful people in my life, but this particular day it just so happened to be my own dear father. A man was singing in the choir behind me, and his voice and the way he was singing just reminded me of my father when he used to sing in choir. He still does, I think, but I'm not home to witness it so I miss out.
What struck me the most is the remembrance of his smile and the easy-going attitude he has always seemed to have. Of course, there are things that can rile him up, and he does get upset once in awhile, but those times are few and far between. He has plenty of reason now to decide to complain and make excuses to lay about and do what he wants, but somehow his best reason for doing that has become his reason for getting up and working hard every day. I wonder how I can express how much this means to me and how amazing I think this wonderful man is...
My dad has a neurological disease. It makes tedious jobs impossible and easy jobs tedious. It makes simple things like walking in a straight line and remembering to give phone messages very difficult for him. And yet, I cannot recall ever hearing one word of complaint leave his lips. If he does make a comment on it, it is a matter of fact this-is-how-it-is comment with no feeling or complaint attached. He works hard every day and manages to exercise and work outside and help my mother with the chores inside as well.
I, however, LOVE to complain, or so it would seem. I just can't seem to help it. I get a few ant bites and up go the pictures and wo is me for my poor swollen feet. I feel a little bit tired and I am laid out whenever I get the chance. My long-suffering husband knows about every ache and pain and, ahem, weird bathroom moment that I have. I justify it by saying should I ever pass out and have to be rushed to the hospital then he could tell the doctors every symptom or weird thing that has happened to me that week.
Perhaps now it is easy to see why I feel such love and devotion to my father. I can't seem to stop complaining, and yet here he is with the best reason ever to complain and he doesn't even think about doing it. It's just another wonderful characteristic about this man that makes me love him all the more.
And so, as I sat in choir waiting for the men to finish going over their parts, I allowed this overwhelming feeling of love and amazement wash through me as an undeniable ache to see this man entered into my heart. Thank goodness he is coming to visit next week. :)
Sunday, March 27, 2011
More Music
It seems all I talk about is music so far on this thing, but the thing is, most of my musings happen as I drive to and from church choir. I mean, they happen at other times, like in the middle of the night, and while they sound genious to me at the time, I don't remember any of it at all, just that I thought it was genious...hmmm...
Anyways, back to my original muse. Music. How I love it. It is amazing the power music has to change a mood, give comfort, and get you moving. Church choir is just one example of how much music influences me. I could show up stressed and worried about life, and by the time I leave, I am relaxed, humming and loving every minute of this life that is mine.
We recently used our tax return money to purchase a piano, and having a piano in our home has changed the atmosphere completely. Instead of going right to the tv, my husband instead goes to the piano and plays. He has an amazing talent to play by ear, and it is beautiful and calming. So instead of some guy show, which usually involves guns and explosions, I get to hear beautiful music.
I enjoy playing the piano as well, although my talent is nowhere near my husband's. I do know how to read music and I can usually plunk my way through some of the hymns that we have in our hymnal. I'm no great talent at playing or singing, but being a part of the music increases the happiness I feel ten-fold. Oh, how I love it!
Anyways, back to my original muse. Music. How I love it. It is amazing the power music has to change a mood, give comfort, and get you moving. Church choir is just one example of how much music influences me. I could show up stressed and worried about life, and by the time I leave, I am relaxed, humming and loving every minute of this life that is mine.
We recently used our tax return money to purchase a piano, and having a piano in our home has changed the atmosphere completely. Instead of going right to the tv, my husband instead goes to the piano and plays. He has an amazing talent to play by ear, and it is beautiful and calming. So instead of some guy show, which usually involves guns and explosions, I get to hear beautiful music.
I enjoy playing the piano as well, although my talent is nowhere near my husband's. I do know how to read music and I can usually plunk my way through some of the hymns that we have in our hymnal. I'm no great talent at playing or singing, but being a part of the music increases the happiness I feel ten-fold. Oh, how I love it!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
I find it hard sometimes to think of others and their weaknesses. I always assume that others are so sure of themselves and their decisions. Meanwhile I have always feared that others think the worst of me as we interact. Case in point: I look in the rearview mirror and see a vehicle. I don't know who is in the vehicle, but I automatically assume that they don't like me or my driving.
Strange, huh? But that's how it's been my whole life. I realize that I am a good mom, a decent athlete, and an awesome wife. (Not such a great home maker though...), but for some reason I assume that everybody else thinks otherwise.
Perhaps all of us have some part of this syndrome inside of them. But then again they probably all think that I am a little weird...
Strange, huh? But that's how it's been my whole life. I realize that I am a good mom, a decent athlete, and an awesome wife. (Not such a great home maker though...), but for some reason I assume that everybody else thinks otherwise.
Perhaps all of us have some part of this syndrome inside of them. But then again they probably all think that I am a little weird...
Thursday, March 3, 2011
True Love?
Ahhh, the thought of true love does seriously warm my heart. But does it really truly exist? I suppose if you put two people together that are naturally unselfish and are hardworking and have the same thoughts and desires, then yes, I believe true love does happen.
On the other hand, I also believe that it takes work to reach that point. Sure, you may really, really, like someone when you marry them, hey, you may even love them just a little, but is it true love? Just think of the high rates of divorce and you may wonder...
We forget so easily that not too long ago couples were formed from mutual respect and similar goals. I remember being disappointed when my grandfather told me why he had chosen my grandmother. She was a pretty girl and a hard worker...and there were other things as well, but no glowing romantic reviews, just that, plain and simple. Courtship was short, as was the engagement, and once you were married, that was it. Not long before that couples were formed by the parents. It is still practiced in some cultures today. Amazing how two strangers can live together and bring forth children and still seem happy. Many people gasp at the thought of not choosing their own mate, but do we really know ourselves well enough at all to do such a thing?
I believe they were happy because they chose to be happy. You can't always change the circumstances that you find yourself in, but you can change how you react to them.
I wonder how many couples enter into marriage with the thought of divorce at the back of their minds. I wonder how many "irreconcilable differences" could be reconciled if that weren't an option for divorce. It seems our culture of getting what we want, when we want it has pervaded even into our homes. If you are not being the spouse we want, then we will divorce and find another spouse. Hmmmm...
My marriage is not perfect, but I was very lucky and blessed to marry a wonderful man who has the same goals and aspirations as I did. We both entered into this with no thought of divorce, striking it from our vocabulary. We both knew that we would go through tough times, but we were stuck with each other. That is the agreement we made, and we are sticking to it now. Wow have there been tough times. There have been times when I've wondered how we were going to make it through, but make it through we did, and things right now are wonderful. My feelings for him have grown exponentially as I have watched him struggle with some of his weaknesses and conquer them, and I like to think that he can see how I am trying to improve myself for him as well. Sure we still have our bad days, who doesn't? But I am incredibly grateful that we have stuck with it.
So is there true love? Sure, but I believe it is a process, not an immediate thing. Every day my love for my sweetheart grows stronger, and every struggle and disagreement that we make it through is a testament to our growing closer together. Having the ability to disagree and still feel that wonderful feeling for each other is the core of our own journey to true love. I am glad that we haven't given up.
On the other hand, I also believe that it takes work to reach that point. Sure, you may really, really, like someone when you marry them, hey, you may even love them just a little, but is it true love? Just think of the high rates of divorce and you may wonder...
We forget so easily that not too long ago couples were formed from mutual respect and similar goals. I remember being disappointed when my grandfather told me why he had chosen my grandmother. She was a pretty girl and a hard worker...and there were other things as well, but no glowing romantic reviews, just that, plain and simple. Courtship was short, as was the engagement, and once you were married, that was it. Not long before that couples were formed by the parents. It is still practiced in some cultures today. Amazing how two strangers can live together and bring forth children and still seem happy. Many people gasp at the thought of not choosing their own mate, but do we really know ourselves well enough at all to do such a thing?
I believe they were happy because they chose to be happy. You can't always change the circumstances that you find yourself in, but you can change how you react to them.
I wonder how many couples enter into marriage with the thought of divorce at the back of their minds. I wonder how many "irreconcilable differences" could be reconciled if that weren't an option for divorce. It seems our culture of getting what we want, when we want it has pervaded even into our homes. If you are not being the spouse we want, then we will divorce and find another spouse. Hmmmm...
My marriage is not perfect, but I was very lucky and blessed to marry a wonderful man who has the same goals and aspirations as I did. We both entered into this with no thought of divorce, striking it from our vocabulary. We both knew that we would go through tough times, but we were stuck with each other. That is the agreement we made, and we are sticking to it now. Wow have there been tough times. There have been times when I've wondered how we were going to make it through, but make it through we did, and things right now are wonderful. My feelings for him have grown exponentially as I have watched him struggle with some of his weaknesses and conquer them, and I like to think that he can see how I am trying to improve myself for him as well. Sure we still have our bad days, who doesn't? But I am incredibly grateful that we have stuck with it.
So is there true love? Sure, but I believe it is a process, not an immediate thing. Every day my love for my sweetheart grows stronger, and every struggle and disagreement that we make it through is a testament to our growing closer together. Having the ability to disagree and still feel that wonderful feeling for each other is the core of our own journey to true love. I am glad that we haven't given up.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)